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THE RISING TIDE CONFERENCE TOP TEN LIST
I hope Letterman's lawyers aren't lurking out there ready to pounce on us poor unsuspecting NOLA bloggers. Well, if they are we'll lock them in a room with Loki and we'll see who comes out sane...
Here are the Top Ten Reasons why you should register for, and attend, the Rising Tide Conference:
10. Food from Dunbar's.
09. Interesting speakers and panelists.
08. The chance to see Loki make some really weird faces and hand you his leg, Harpo Marx style.
07. Seeing Michael Duplantier without a suit and tie. (I'm trying to get him to wear his Elvis shirt but so far no luck.)
05. Membership in the "I've been teased/insulted/flamed by Adrastos club." (It may be painful but it's free.)
04. The opportunity to see if the Loud Indian Girl aka Maitri will wear feathers or be a dothead.
03. See Oyster served on a half-shell and slathered in Tabasco.
02. Ashley Morris and Greg (Suspect Device) Peters on the same panel. Questions abound: Who will drop the first F bomb? Will Ashley dress up as a mime or Che?
The number one reason to go to the Rising Tide Conference:
To see if Dangerblond and Lisa will dance the Can-Can to "Yes We Can."
I heard Loki and Lisa are bringing a bag of snakes, just so I can scream
out:
Watch your fucking mouth. I think Greg Peters would tell you to shut your
cock hole.
Oh, what the hell. I'll toss out my tie and wear my Elvis shirt. My image
will be irreparably damaged, but its all for a good cause.
Vulgarity is the crutch of inarticulate fuckers, you know.
Dear Adrastos,
Cockhole is a Gregism, Mr. Bruce King, said in my Yippy impression.
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!
Ummm, uhhhh, I dunno, Mowren. You're too classy to appear on this list with
all these trashy wackos. Of course, Lisa's not trashy. Never mind...
I'm still tired of all of these MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES in a MOTHERFUCKING
YACHT CLUB!
Never mind??? (*snickering*)
Okay Morwen. I added you to the folks I'd want in my wartime foxhole in the
Spiked post. I hope there aren't any rats or <drum roll> snakes...
Motherpussbucket! Who wears dots, feathers, owned a snake, knows the woman
who made an appearance on the <i>Moulin Rouge</i> Soundtrack
and plans to wear a skirt and high heels to the Yat Club? Yes, that would
be me, the LFIG.
Hey, LIG, do you kiss yo mama wit' dat mouth?
LFIG? Labour Finance & Industry Group?
I've led a sheltered life. I don't know what you deep thinkers are talking
about.
Watch out Adrastos! I will be handing you my leg if things get that wacky.
As to the Peter-isms, I believe that Cock hole is the informal usuage. If
you want to be formal and snotty about it then you would use the
traditional, "penis airport." As to pie hole, well that's vernacular and
will not be discussed here...