THE BIGASS GOP FLYER

I arrived home after dark to find not one but two of the biggest campaign flyers I've ever seen in my mailbox. They barely fit; it reminded me of trying on last year's pants after supper on Thanksgiving. The flyer was sent by the Republican Congressional Campaign Committee (RCCC.) It was a two sided (faced?) mailer: one side praising Joseph Cao, the other skewering Dollar Bill. It's so damn big that I had to scan it in two parts since I don't feel like messing with Photoshop. Here's the Jeffersonian side, which dares to mention the charges against him; something none of his mealy mouthed opponents have been willing to do:

The other side of the mailer extols the virtues of "Honest Joe" Cao. My late father, who was an ardent Republican, taught me that anyone who keeps telling you how honest they are is not being entirely candid. It's probably the root of my dislike of the goo-goo "reformers" of the world. Anyone who tells you they're a reformer is probably in need of reformation. Anyhoo, here's the Cao side:

The irony of the bigass flyer is that the candidate it supports is a mere whisp of a lad and Dollar Bill is looking increasingly wizened with age. In short, the flyer is bigger and/or sturdier than either of them.

The election is later today and I'll be relieved when it's over. Dollar Bill has the ability to transform otherwise rational people into members of the Raving Monster Loony Party, Goo-Goo division. It's very interesting: Dollar Bill has all the charisma of a heavily sedated accountant but his enemies act as if he's the love child of Al Sharpton and Cynthia McKinney. The local Goopers other pet hate (well, one of them anyway) is Marc Morial who is at least not boring although he should lose the cheesy mustache, which makes him look sort of like a Creole Tom Dewey:

Okay, so maybe they don't look that much alike but they both have square heads. Dewey, of course was a goo-goo prosecutor who would have rather been compared to Jim Letten rather than the man Letten's been gunning for.

Anyway, happy election day. Vote if you must but I'll be doing something more uplifting like emptying the catbox. It's interesting to me how much flack I've gotten for admitting that I'm not going to vote when the turnout is expected to be 10-15%. Y'all flail some dishonest and unthinking non-voter for a change. Btw, I'd love to have whatever it is that the folks who think Cao can win are smoking. It must be righteous, mon and if Goopers are smoking it, maybe it's legal or at least there's an executive order authorizing it...

Finally, here's one of my favorite songs with the word flyer in the title. It's got bupkis to do with Cao or Dollar Bill but it's set in the Gret Stet:

tags: nola  politics  congress  jefferson  dollar  bill  cao  gop  louisiana  

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