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NOLA NEWS OF THE WEIRD: BURNING COUCH EDITION
posted Sunday, 12 July 2009
People do things in the Quarter that they'd never do in, say, Baton Rouge. Kelly Messenger, who teaches algebra at Woodlawn High School in Red Stick, was not content with merely peeing through someone's mail slot or getting drunk and disorderly on Bourbon Street. LINK. No, he was more original, and dumber, than that: he lit a couch in the Westin Hotel lobby on fire. Unfortunately for Mr. Teacher, his pyrotechnics were caught on camera and he was arrested. I wonder if he minored in arson in college? Or did he think it was the Fourth of July and the couch was a sparkler? Perhaps it was firecracker red. Talk about getting likkered up on firewater... <groan>
This sad but sickly hilarious story should be an object lesson for visitors to our fair city: what happens in the Quarter doesn't always stay in the Quarter. Don't get so drunk and stupid that you'll do something that can cost you your job. It's just a pity that Mr. Messenger didn't get the, uh, message in advance...
Long time readers already know that I'm a sick bastard but I hope I don't <ahem> burn in hell for writing this or for thinking of a Midnight Oil song whilst doing so:
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