FRAK NO CUSSING WEEK

It's no cussing week in Los Angeles County, which I pronounce with a hard g just like my elderly Angeleno relatives do. It's a tribute to the pre-sprawl/yuppie days when LA *was* paradise before they "paved paradise and put up a parking lot." You were so right about that, Joni..

Now where the frak was I? Oh yeah, no fucking cussing week. Who the hell came up with this cockamamie idea? Some pipsqueak kid from Pasadena, that's who. Pasadena is famous for Roses, Republicans and little old ladies: go granny go granny go. And now it's famous for McKay Hatch the teenybopper who wants everyone to stop swearing. Dude, it's a valiant but futile frakking effort. In a world of bank failures, natural disasters and Mickey Rourke's comeback we've got a lot to cuss about. Sheee-itttt.

I don't cuss around children, nuns and old ladies named Hortense *and* I do try to watch my big mouth by making like Colonel Tigh on BSG and using frak instead of fuck. BUT sometimes my inner Ashley Morris kicks in and I gotta call a fuckmook a fuckmook. Euphemisms just won't do sometimes, Master Hatch. Former Vice President Duce is not full of poop, he's full of shit. You'll understand some day, McKay, trust me. It's a hard world and some days you gotta call an asshole an asshole. And that's why I can't swear off swearing like but compared to Ian McShane's character on Deadwood, Al Swearingen, I'm a fucking piker:

tags: ephemera  humor  

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