FORUM FOLLIES: THE SCRIM IN THE GYM

Okay, I'm lying again. It took place in a cafeteria kinda deal but cafeteria doesn't scan as well as gym. So sue me. It was an odd sensation to be back in a junior high school: I could feel the exploding hormones and angst laden pre-teen vibes. Yuck.

What was I doing at a junior high on Valence Street? I was there for a District 5 State Senate forum but I got a bit carried away when I ran into my boy Celcus. I pantsed him and stuffed him in a locker. I was impressed: I wouldn't fit in a junior high locker any more but he did. It was swell to be in touch with my inner bully; especially since I was never one during my misspent youth.  The preceding passage was pure fiction: I wrote it to get Celcus' goatee. <rim shot>

Anyway, Celcus has written an adult and responsible post about the forum, which leaves me free to revert to adolescence and mock the pols. You're probably asking yourself: and that's different than usual? How? There are 4 candidates vying to replace term-limited veteran Senator Diana Bajoie: State Reps Cheryl Gray and Jalila (My Heart Belongs To Daddy) Jefferson-Bullock, former State Rep and Public Service Commish Irma Muse Dixon and Judge and blogger uncle David Williams. Damn, I have carpal tunnel just from writing their titles, y'all.

The candidates as a whole were somewhat underwhelming but David Williams was the best of the lot. He was thoughtful, articulate and unafraid to be the odd man out on several issues such as education and health care. I didn't necessarily agree with all of his positions BUT his little gray cells are at least firing. The same cannot be said for Irma Muse Dixon who seemed trapped in a pre-K time warp: she also had the unnerving habit of using the word service in ways that had this blogger rolling his eyes and chortling. I haven't chortled that much in eons but when Irma went on about servicing her constituents I chortled like a crazy monkey. Irma also inserted a bunch of technobabble circa 1999 into her spiel: the internets is gonna save everything, apparently. Whatever.

Cheryl Gray came off as fairly intelligent and articulate but her answers were a bit too pat for my taste. I think she came off second best to David Williams but she performed well. The same cannot be said of Jalila Jefferson who seemed to have drunk 9 cups of espresso before the forum. Whenever asked a question, Jalila rattled off rapid fire answers; determined to cram as much information as possible into each sound bite. I was exhausted every time she opened her mouth. My favorite bit was when she went on and on about the glories of a unified school district and the restoration of local democratic control to Orleans Parish schools. I felt the urge to ask her if that was because she wanted her Uncle Mose and his cronies to re-commence looting the school system but the urge passed.

The highlight of the evening was meeting the moderator, Katie Moore of WWL-TV. Katie is even cuter in person than on teevee and laughed at my jokes, which is either a sign of good taste or madness; you decide. Katie was a terrific moderator and kept the candidates on track, which is an impressive feat since it's similar to herding cats. 

I left the scrim in the gym leaning towards voting for David Williams who also laughed at my jokes and was pleased to meet a friend of Loki's. He's clearly a tolerant man. I'm not sure if he has any chance of winning but I liked him the best. Cheryl Gray is my second choice, I think I could vote for her without coughing up a hairball. The candidate who I couldn't vote for is-surprise, surprise, surprise-Jalila Jefferson-Bullock. But I know that Big Daddy Dollar Bill will flood the streets with money to elect his daughter to the state senate seat that he held before going to Capitol Hill. So, sports fans, vote early and vote often. Holy crap, now I'm channeling Dollar Bill. Hmm, I wonder if my Ben Franklins are frozen yet...

tags: nola  louisiana  politics  2007  election  

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