THE FOLLOWERS OF CHAOS OUT OF CONTROL

Mr. Wet sucks. Let me explain why. He's one of my best  friends in the NOLA blogosphere BUT the sumbitch stole my Gustav related post title: Achtung, Baby. It makes me wonder if he's a psychic from all those years of wearing a hat and living in the frozen North. (It somehow gives me perverse pleasure to imagine him plugging in his car whilst conversing with a neighbor who sounds like Marge in Fargo. Oh ja, you betcha.) But if Folse *is* a psychic, I'm thinking he's a fake; sort of like Sean Spencer the goofy fake psychic tevee detective on Psych. Hmm, now that I think of it, Mark's son Matt is a goofball in the Spencerian vein...

Anyway, since Mr. Wet stole my thunder, I decided to use a line from another great '80's "alternative" band, REM. The song Disturbance At The Heron House is actually political but the line "the followers of chaos out of control" sums up rather neatly the panic in the air here in Debrisville. Me, I'm just cranky that this fracking storm may goose step into town this weekend and force Southern Decadence to cancel. It's usually a big weekend for Quarter merchants. For the uninitiated, Decadence is a cross between boys gone wild and a gay pride event. As my good friend with a thick French accent and a Russian name, Paul Nevski, once said to me: "During Decadence, everyone in the Quarter is gay. Even the 'omophobes are gay."

Back to Gustav; at least the motherfracker has a proper scary name. I can respect a storm named Gustav; it evokes saurkraut, beer gardens and Prussian militarism. As of now, we don't know where this Teutonic twit of a storm is headed but Dr. A and I are eyeing it cautiously and plan to indulge in a bit of brinksmanhip before deciding what to do, which means we'll be inviting ourselves to my cousin Tina's house in Dallas if we need to bug out. Katrina was the first time we'd ever gotten out of Dodge and we're only doing so this time if Gustav is a giant Stasi agent of a storm headed right towards us.

So, it's time to wait, watch and prepare. I don't think freaking out helps anything but I understand why folks who were hit hard in 2005 are flipping out. It's time for us to be ghouls and root for Gustav to go elsewhere, which only people in the Hurricane belt are allowed to do.  I usually hope that storms head to Kleberg County, Texas, home of the King Ranch, where there are more cattle than people. So, Gustav moove in that direction so the followers of chaos won't get out of control:

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