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FUBAR

posted Monday, 31 July 2006

It was a naturally N'Awlins kind of meeting: badly planned and in the wrong space. What scares me is that the organizers of this event are in charge of re-starting the stalled planning process to rebuild New Orleans. But these planners couldn't organize a two car funeral. There was poor communication before and during the event. Dr. A and I arrived on time at high noon and there was a long line snaking along the sidewalk. The organizers hadn't planned for either a large crowd or how to process them. There was mass confusion in line, which foreshadowed more chaos inside.

The City Park Pavilion is a great space for a wedding or a concert but a rotten place for a multi-group planning session. It has a stone floor that amplifies the sound and sends it ricocheting around the room like a boomerang. In short, it was purt near impossible to hear anything. The disorganizers of the event also placed the food and beverage tables smack dab in the middle of the hall. That meant that people congregated in the middle and chatted, which increased the noise level. I kept expecting Quiet Riot to turn up and start playing "Come Feel The Noize."

Then there was the planning group my neighborhood found itself trapped in, district 3. The planners disregarded the political boundaries of the city and placed everyone in arbitrary planning zones so we wound up in a group dominated by people from Council District A instead of our own District B. Planning district 3 was dominated by the intercine rivalries and ancient hatreds of the old line Carrollton area neighborhood associations (Not my friend Karen's new group NW Carrollton: they're great.) Instead of discussing *any* substance at all, the Carrollton people traded insults and fought over their overlapping boundaries. Some people have learned nothing from the storm. They reminded me of the Sapir dominated College Of Clowns aka City Council.  Yes, it was *that* bad.

Each district was led by a facilitator who knew very little about the areas they were allegedly facilitating. They also were unable to answer any substantive questions posed by their groups. In short, they didn't know jack shit, y'all. Also, the level of the discussion was strictly at the third grade level. I expected them to pass out balloons or hand out gold stars. Even if you could hear what was going on, the sessions were a waste of time. The room was full of committed, intelligent citizens who were patronized and treated like idiots. I didn't see any idiots in the room. But the disorganizers acted as if we were sheep being herded off to the slaughter. Maybe we were: only time will tell if this exercise was, as a friend of mine said: "a complete or a partial waste ot time." He was wise and left only 2 hours in. I devoted 4 1/2 hours of my life to this exercise in futility; time that I'll never get back.

I observed something interesting at the start of the FUBAR fest. Lee Zurik the WWL-TV weekend anchor showed up with a camera crew. One of the disorganizers asked him to take it outside. Lee looked steely (his weird plucked eyebrows notwithstanding) and said: "No, and if you make me leave it will be the lede of my story on tonight's news." The lackey relented. Good on ya, Lee. Btw, Lee Zurik filed some reports that were very critical of the event and its disorganizers.  I'll post links to the stories when they're posted online.

The only redeeming thing about the day was seeing tons of friends; both old and new. My worlds collided several times. It turns out that my fellow blogger and new friend, Schroeder and my pal Stephanie are long lost friends. I also had the amusing experience of introducing my good friend and unofficial blog publicist Julie to Oyster and Schroeder. She gave them the minor deity treatment and they loved it. Julie also asked if Ashley Morris and Gentilly Girl were there but they weren't unless Morwen was hiding out under the buffet tables...

I also saw my neighborhood activist and preservationist friends Bob, Ed, Shelley, Joe, Dione, Miranda, Michelle, Tom, Patty, James, Herb and Ann, among others; some of whom know I blog and some of whom think I'm sane. Where the hell did they get such a farfetched idea?

My blogging colleagues Ray, Maitri, Becky, Karen and Alan were also present and accounted for. At one point, there were 7 bloggers in a row and one of my colleagues turned to me and said, "Let's start a coup."  We couldn't do a worse job than the people who run this city and we're intentionally instead of unintentionally funny. I'm feeling too lazy to link to all the bloggers, I have the Carrollton crud right now. 

Finally, I've assumed that everyone knows what FUBAR  means but just in case let me fill you in. It's an acronym that originated in military circles, it means Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition. That sums up yesterday's event quite succinctly.

In the coming days, I'll be spending some time examining the planning and zoning processes and how they may be leading to the greatest land grab since the end of the American Frontier. There's plenty of dirt to dish so please stay tuned...

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1. Karen left...
Monday, 31 July 2006 10:14 am

We are the unfortunate Step Children of Carrollton. We are the bastard children of Carrollton and Hollygrove and neither one really wants us. Seems that dirt is all there is in this process


2. schroeder915 left...
Monday, 31 July 2006 10:29 am

Great summary. I'm working on a more detailed post as well. I especially love the Lee Zurik anecdote. And yeah, his eyebrows freak me out too, but it's like rubbernecking at an accident. You can't stop staring at them.


3. adrastos left...
Monday, 31 July 2006 10:31 am

I hated mentioning Lee's eyebrows but couldn't help myself. He did OUTSTANDING work yesterday. He conveyed the chaos and incompetence of the event while still being fair to Bingler and krewe.


4. dangerblond left...
Monday, 31 July 2006 11:07 am

Great post. Did you see the Booster Club write up in the T-P? I am a blogger who wasn't there and I think I am learning more by reading others' posts than by going!


5. adrastos left...
Monday, 31 July 2006 12:28 pm

The TP piece was drivel. Lee Z did great work BUT they still haven't posted his pieces yet. His 10PM story was fantastic.


6. Maitri left...
Monday, 31 July 2006 12:37 pm :: http://vatul.net/blog/

Great post, A. Thank you so much for putting out what I don't have the stomach for today.


7. Editor B left...
Monday, 31 July 2006 1:34 pm :: http://b.rox.com/

Jesus. I guess I'm glad I skipped this one.


8. nolawoman left...
Monday, 31 July 2006 1:38 pm

I liken yesterday to Mr. Toad's Wild Ride... except it is Ben Johnson's wild ride... staring Steve Bingler as the Mad Hatter, C. Ray as the Cheshire Cat, etc.


9. adrastos left...
Monday, 31 July 2006 1:53 pm

Love the comment NOLAWOMAN.

B, it was even worse than described. I'll drop you a note later.


10. GentillyGirl left...
Monday, 31 July 2006 2:00 pm :: http://gentillygirl.com/

Ahem, I was not hiding under the tables. Yesterday was spent resting from working on our house the day before and doing some research on our movers and shakers here in N.O. (I'm still trying to wash the slime off of my brain.)

I hope to attend Tuesday evening's cluster fuck and see this dog and pony show for myself.

It so very nice to know that New orleans is runing in it's normal SNAFU mode. (Situation Normal... All Fucked Up)


11. Alan Gutierrez left...
Monday, 31 July 2006 3:27 pm :: http://thinknola.com/

I've said great post to you in email, but I'll add it here. It is a nice and humorous run down, and acurate discription of how the day dragged on.

It was good to see everyone there. Looking forward to seeing the photographs.


12. Becky left...
Monday, 31 July 2006 10:15 pm :: http://beckyhoutman.com

I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I'm laughing now, reading this, but after tomorrow's presentations...

By the way - did anyone notice a lot of lawn metaphors? I think it was Bingler who first brought up hiring a lawn-mowing team to describe the process to the whole group, and my district's facilitator brought up selecting a lawn-care team an example of selecting a planning-team later on. Made me wonder if it was in a script, or just a coincidence. This New Orleans rebuilding thing is just getting a little landscaping done, nothing to worry about folks...


13. mominem left...
Tuesday, 1 August 2006 9:52 pm :: http://fematrailer.blogspot.com/

I'll bet you I can predict most of the elements of the plan.

Furthermore virtually none of them will be implemented because events will have overtaken the plan.