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A WALNUTS-N-PBJ SANDWICH FOR THE GOP?
The folks over at Wonkette dubbed John McCain, Senator Walnuts about 2 years ago for two reasons: his supposedly walnutty shaped cheeks and his nutty views on war and peace and I'm not talking Tolstoy. I like it so I've borrowed it and it really fits his zany Memorial Day weekend plans with Governor PBJ and some other Veep prospects including my personal choice, Mitt Haircut. Why am I for Mitt? Because he's so much fun to mock.
Anyway, back to the Gret Stet's very own Boy Wonder. Clancy Dubos has been wetting himself at the prospect of PBJ taking his so called geek appeal national. There was a more rational discussion over at Erster's joint, which concluded that it was unlikely that the GOP ticket would feature a Walnuts-n-PBJ sandwich.
Here's my take: if Jindal is selected it would be the ultimate political Hail Mary pass; Walnuts would only schmeer PBJ on his ticket if defeat looked probable. The problem with the whole notion is that Walnuts is determined to beat Obama over the head for his inexperience; as if Cheney and Rummy's experience was an asset when they cooked up the fiasco in Mesopotamia. McCain's own experience involves getting into bed with every lobbyist in Washington whilst proclaiming "I'm a reformer, I'm a maverick," which is, of course something Walnuts and PBJ have in common: sanctimonious hypocrisy in the classic goo-goo style.
Another reason that I'm dubious about a McCain-Jindal ticket is that it means that the bigot vote would have to shop around. PBJ is too brown for their taste and he hasn't had the time to pander shamelessly to the far right on the national stage. PBJ is being trotted out as symbol of diversity and because the Rush Limbaughs, Sean Hannitys and Bill Kristols of the world think that he's the bee's knees. The winger commentariat will be served and Walnuts can appear to be enlightened because he's hanging with an Indian. As for PBJ, he gets some national pub in preparation for his inevitable run for higher office.
The thing that intrigues me most is who the hell Walnuts is going to drink with this weekend? That's probably why he invited his Senate crony Lindsay Graham to his crib as well as the stiffs. The idea of a "social" visit with PBJ and the Mittster sounds duller than reading the Book Of Mormon aloud while playing the Mormon Tabernacle Choir as background music. Of course, they could spice it up by playing the Osmonds and watching PBJ's favorite episodes of the Brady Bunch.
Party on, Mitt. Party on, PBJ. Party on, Walnuts.
Is PBJ going to tip the bigot vote? That's what I thought last year, when I
sat on a post featuring a picture of a grocery bag and PBJ and those very
thoughts. He's proved that's not true.
Remember PBJ ran for Governor for 5 years non-stop and became well known in
the rural parishes. He can't replicate that familiarity in a national
campaign in a few months.
speaking of nuts. saw ol' jimmy berz. da nut cracker at the wine and food
in the dome tonight.
Tolstoy, Brady Bunch, Hail Mary and Mesopotamia artfully linked together in
the same post. You take da cake, Adrastos.
I'm all for Mitt Haircut but can we extend it to Mitthew Haircut? It sounds
like more... Mitty.
Well in this week's Gambit, DuBos does a 180 and changes his mind about the
propulsion of PBJ to veep. Clancy wrote, "Why would a guy who went through
5 1/2 years of hell in the Hanoi Hilton tap a 90 day wonder to stand a
heartbeat away from the presidency?" He also compared PBJ to Mickey Rooney
being veep coupled with John Wayne as president. Bobby Doodle Dandy?
Comparisons to Dan Quayle?