I've been going back and forth for several years with my friend Jeffrey of yellow blog fame about LSU Coach Les Miles. This weekend's horrendous meltdown by LSU has me inching closer to his position. Les Miles *is* one of the worst game coaches I've ever seen. He has good people skills and is a fine recruiter BUT his teams continually make stupid mistakes, which reflect poorly on his coaching. Jeffrey's most recent anti-Miles polemic is quite cogent.

As much as I hate to admit it, I think Mr. Gloomy Pants is right about Miles. There I said it. I was so gobsmacked by LSU's astonishing series of fuckups against Ole Miss that I did the unthinkable (for me at least) and used <shuddering> exclamation points in a text to Pants. Oh, woe is me, bop.

Look what you''ve driven me to, Les Miles: agreeing with Jeffrey and using verboten punctuation. What's next? Will I say something nice about Bitter Vitter? Frak no, I may be shaken but I'm not *that* shaken. Or is that shaken and unstirred? 

It looks as if I've hopped on the yellow blog anti-Miles bandwagon. It may be rickety but goddamn it, we're as adamant as Adam Ant or even Bill Adama.

Btw, Les, I hate your frakking dingy white hat too. Glad I got that off my chest...

It's time to move from the ridiculous Palin (Sarah) to the sublime Palin, Michael. Here's an achingly funny scene from the Life Of Brian featuring the nice Palin as Pontius Pilate. This clip is dedicated to my fwiend Mr. Wuppert:

I'm not sure if the ruling against the Corps in the MRGO case will open the floodgates of litigation (to use the legal cliche) but it's certainly good news. It has also given me an hellacious earworm. I suspect no one other than me would get a Pete Townshend tune in their head after news involving Da Parish and Ninth Ward but I'm not like everybody else, after all. Uh oh, yet another Kinks reference...

Anyway, The Sea Refuses No River is a song that I also associate with my days in Washington DC when I worked on the Hill and lived in the worst apartment in one of the best neighborhoods in town: Foggy Bottom. It's also a fun name to say. Repeat after me: Foggy Bottom.

And I'm not talking about Michael Palin either: he's the nice member of Monty Python and he's a bona fide writer to boot. Anyway, "author" Sarah Palin crapped out of a book signing at a Borders in Noblesville, Indiana without signing all the copies. Here's how her "fans" reacted as her tour bus hit the road, jack

The debate is on about James Dot Com Perry's WTF ad. My favorite part was the unintentionally funny bit where he said "I'm an eagle scout." WTF? I thought he was trying to show us that he's cool hip and edgy but apparently not *that* edgy. It also makes him sound as if he's 15 or however old eagle scouts are. My unsolicited advice to the campaign: drop the ad now that its had some impact. While I find it goofy instead of offensive, it's not going to wear well.

I agree with that jeffin' Jeffrey that Alex Morgan's explanation of the language in the ad is even funnier than the whole hip-hop eagle scout shtick. Jeff you, Alex. It reminds me of the way Gore Vidal used the names of anti-obscenity 1970's  Supreme Court Justices in his surreal comic farce, Myron. They've really got you by the powells, Alex and you better watch your blackmun if you continue to jeff around like this. Disclaimer: the preceding was a bit of japery, not to be confused with drapery...

I have a confession to make: I'd never heard Seal's version of Steve Miller's half-corny/half good hit Fly Like An Eagle until tonight. I like it a lot and if it's good enough for Heidi Klum, it's good enough for me:

I considered doing some research about these, uh, books but decided to let their lurid R-rated S & M images speak for themselves. They put the ass in class, y'all. I don't know what got into me, maybe it was the porn star plot on House this week...

Speaking of NOLA trash talk, Mayoral wannabe James Dot Com Perry has put a really trashy ad online, which was then explained away lamely by his campaign manager, Alex Morgan; proving once again that the Perry campaign, such as it is, is run by hipsters for hipsters. They seem to need some adult supervision:

The best writer at the Picayune, James Gill, published his last op-ed column today. LINK. In typical Gill fashion, it was not about himself but a parting shot at our travelin' fool of a Mayor over his junket south of the border down Mexico way.

Mr. Gill's elegant and erudite prose will be greatly missed. I hope he'll have time to write a book or two now that he's exited what he would surely call the hurly burly of newspapering.

The Smithereens are like old friends. I give them a spin in tough times and hearing Jim Babjak's chunky power chords and Pat Dinizio's slightly nasal singing usually cheers me up. A Girl Like You is one of their best songs. Its got a beat, you can dance to it and it's one of the best air guitar tunes ever. What more can you ask from an earworm?

I'm beginning to warm to the New Orleans Mayor's race; not because of substance, there doesn't appear to be any. The race as it slowly takes shape seems to have strong elements of farce. It won't make for good guvmint but the comic possibilities are seemingly endless. It could be sitcomtastic or is that sitcomlicious?

There's James Dot Com Perry who's running his campaign on Twitter and Facebook and seems to spend much of his time raising money out of state. It's a pity: James Dot Com is *potentially* an interesting outsider candidate but he needs to shut down his laptop, stop tweeting and knock on some doors to meet some actual voters. This virtual candidacy thing is from hunger unless there's some shoe leather expended in support of it. We've already had the Wizard of Oz for Mayor, we don't need a virtual one to replace  him.

Leslie Jacobs seems to be flirting with the idea of running even though her expertise, such as it is, is in education and the Mayor has bupkis to do with the schools. But she *is* rich and Sandy Rosenthal is her sister-in-law, which could lead to a loose cannon relative sub-plot and that's *always* fun. I was under the impression, however, that Ms. Jacobs is a Mike Foster Republican and this town isn't going to elect a White Gooper. Just ask Rob Couhig. Oops, poor comparison, Ms Jacobs has a full head of hair and isn't notably obnoxious... UPDATE: Ms. Jacobs had a meet and greet last night and said that she was a "lifelong Democrat" despite her association with Foster. That's a fact that she needs to get out there. 

John Georges continues to disprove the notion that all Greeks have a bit of Zorba in them. He's an opa nopa, y'all. Mr. Georges has more money than God but no discernible personality. The only thing interesting about the vending machine magnate is his wobbly political journey from Republican to Independent to Democrat. (Hmm, I wonder if he plans to revive the Whig party next?)  He mistakenly thinks that running first in Orleans Parish in the 2007 Governor's race is significant when it was all about the street money. Georges has enough cold hard cash to finish as high as second or third in an open field but if he's elected Mayor, I will eat one of Mark Folse's straw hats under the gaze of General/President Jackson in the Square. Having said that, I do find Georges' delusions of grandeur to be most amusing. He could play the eccentric millionaire who's so dull that he's funny in our sitcom. Yeah, that's the ticket.

Ed Murray's part in the campaign is obvious: every sitcom needs a straight man and who's duller than Ed? Well, John Georges is but he's already been cast. Murray's main asset is that he's not C Ray Nagin: a man who dreams big and delivers small. Murray looks increasingly like the tortoise in this race but now that I think of it, there aren't any hares. I have one suggestion for Murray to liven things up: he could claim to be baseball Hall of Famer, Eddie Murray to capture the vital Orioles fan vote...

Mitch Landrieu is doing some polling to see if he should think again about considering to run even though he said he wouldn't. I like Mitch; he's a nice guy with a fine tenor singing voice but the Hamlet act is wearing thin. He's becoming the Adlai Stevenson of NOLA politics: a guy who can't make up his mind and wears his indecision on his sleeve. Adlai only won one election in his life so Mitch has that beat; except in New Orleans Mayoral races where he's 0 and 2. Of course, if he does run the Landrieus can revive their brother and sister act: Mary is currently dancing the old soft shoe about health care reform, after all...

Finally, I am somewhat alarmed about the impact that this sitcom of an election is having on Clancy DuBos. He seems to be channeling some movie or tevee wise guy in his latest column but I'm not sure which one it is. It can't be Joey Pants from The Sopranos, Jeffrey's already got the pants angle zipped locked up. Clancy's too tall to be Al Pacino in any of his wise guy roles although the fuhgettaboutit shtick is straight out of Donny Brasco. Hmm, now that I think of it, Clancy is more like Nathan Detroit of Guys and Dolls fame. Our local Damon Runyon, Ronnie Virgets has been known to turn a colorful phrase or three in the pages of the Gambit, after all. Btw, Ronnie would be an outstanding recurring character in our wee sitcom: the zany Yat in a loud shirt who breezes in cracking wise and then takes every one off to the race track. Hilarity ensues..

Oh well, this race could make the sanest person crazy and drive a Mormon to drink but at least it's entertaining. It's a pity, however, that the stakes are so high: the city is crying out for leadership and instead I'm casting a sitcom, which is particularly ironic since the *original* 2010 frontrunner was Oliver the actor whose act is currently wowing them in the big house. 

Dr. A and I were recently the youngest people at a dinner party in Baton Rouge. It was thrilling to be at the kids table as it were. It was a gathering of people who were mostly over 75 among whom was a Louisiana legend, Victor Bussie. Mr. Bussie, who is now 90, was the head of the AFL-CIO in the Gret Stet for 41 years and he remains proudly, defiantly and adamantly liberal. His wife, Fran, was there as well. Ms. Bussie was one of the first women in the South to call herself a feminist. I dropped the name of my friend, NOLA political pundit Clancy DuBos and she said: "You can tell Clancy that he's still a young whippersnapper as far as I'm concerned." Ah, the joys of hanging out with the elderly...

Mr. Bussie told some very juicy stories about everyone from Earl Long to Edwin Edwards to Mary Landrieu most of which are off the record. I asked him why he hasn't written his memoirs and he said, "Well, if I did that I'd have to tell the truth and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings." Mr. Bussie is a class act and a very kind man.

Back to the post title, someone asked Mr. Bussie if he was as liberal as ever, after affirming that he was, he said: "Liberal. That's the most beautiful word in the language."

Cross-posted at First Draft.

Best song title ever. And by one of my favorite bands to boot. It features my facebook friend, Chris Difford, on lead vocals:

Dollar Bill was sentenced to 13 years in the slammer by Judge Ellis yesterday. That tops Duke Cunningham's previous Congressional crook record of 8 years. The sentence seems right to me but I expected Ellis to be more severe so some folks are disappointed but the number is still unlucky 13 handed down on Friday the 13th.

In other numerical NOLA news, the city trash contractors are denying that they agreed to a 10% payment reduction as claimed by the Whitney Houston of bureaucrats, Veronica White. Who's fibbing, Veronica or the Trashanova? Only their hairdressers know for sure...

Moving on to non-NOLA numbers, I've had the Jayhawks tune Ten Little Kids in my head so I might as well let it rip right now. Actually, our pols and contractors are quite childish so if the sneaker fits...

It's my beautiful, kind and brilliant wife's birthday today. Instead of posting a birthday song, here's a Richard Thompson tune dedicated to her...by me, that is:

Many of the people who made the Times-Picayune worth reading have taken a buyout from the paper's imperial masters: intrepid crime reporter Walt Phlibin and ace local columnist Angus Lind among others. The latest is something of a shocker because unlike Walt or Angus he's nowhere near retirement age: Chris Rose. My boy Mr. Gloomy Pants is desolate: who will he have to call a douchebag? Oh right, Les Miles...

The whole thing brings to mind, not a song, but a classic elpee cover:

Yeah, I know it's a buy out by the Picayune's masters at the Newhouse chain but local readers are being sold out by the big ass media chains. It stinks, which is why they need Odorono. Uh oh, I'm repeating myself visually. Frak that and frak the frakking Newhouse chain.

Rumor has it that James Gill and book editor Susan Larson may be among the next wave of buy outees (as opposed to buy inees?) What shame. It's people like Gill and Larson who have given the paper both style and substance. Mr. Gill is one of the best writers in New Orleans and since he's proud to be an ink stained wretch, I wonder if he's considering getting a Tattoo:

Poison is allegedly a womanly means of murder. I'm not sure I agree with that although it was the specialty of the Empress Livia in I Claudius at least.

The first of the two covers below depicts your classic kind of poisoning: a drop of almondy arsenic in cup to liquidate (pun intended) your prey. I really dig the gas mask on the second one. I've always wanted to wear an old school gas mask on Mardi Gras. Put on some khakis and you've got a whole Great War thing going...

The wingnuts are getting nuttier by the day and this time it's not one of the big nuts, it's a lesser nut, Congressman John Shadegg of Arizona. Mr. Shadegg pulled a really tacky stunt during the debate on the House health care reform bill. He brought a baby named Maddie to the floor and used her as a prop. It was hard to tell who was the ventriloquist and who was the dummy. No strike that: Mr. Shadegg was both and he should ashamed of himself for practicing babysploitation without a license.

After seeing that clip, I'm as maddie as hell and I'm not going to take it any more. Oh wait, that's Howard Beale going off in Paddy Chayevsky's Network but the Paultards, Beckheads and teabaggers have appropriated it so I can't use it now. What a pity.

Did you notice Maddie trying to escape the clutches of Shadegg? She obviously didn't sha-dig him and ended up shattered, shattered, sha-doobee:

Cross-posted at First Draft.

Sunday Street is a standout track on one of the best albums very few people have heard: Play by Squeeze. The video is kind of odd: it was shot in LA so Glenn Tilbrook is gliding about the streets there. The song more accurately describes a gorgeous Sunday in London at, say, the Portobello Market but their US record labels were convinced that Squeeze were too British. In short, they tried to Yank them up whilst yanking them around:

US Attorney Jim Letten plays rough. Even I was gobsmacked that they went after Greg Meffert's wife, Linda. It was the shoe I expected to drop in the Dollar Bill case but it never happened. This is some ruthless but highly effective shit, folks. I suspect that Ms. Meffert would NOT have been charged if Muppet dropped the dime on C Ray. That deal *could* still be out there for Muppet if he has the sense to take it but his reputation for arrogance and cluelessness may preclude that.

This is a plot twist worthy of Scott Turow, y'all. I can't wait to see what the next move in this game of legal chess will be. Or is it legal twister? And I know what Letten's office is twisting: Muppet's tiny toadlike bollocks.

Now that I've planted that appalling image in your head, head over to to the Gambit blog for some typically sage punditry from Clancy DuBos.